What can I say about this week? Perhaps a list will suffice:
- Production? Slow.
- Ideas? Limited.
- Motivation? Non-existent.
I am currently in a place that we can all relate to: A slump. Euch, yes that dreaded place. A place where the word work makes your shoulders fall, your face grimace and your body highly uncooperative. This all makes it incredibly difficult for me to sew. In fact, I haven’t touched my sewing machine this week.
I know, drama.
I mean damn it, Jen, where has that passion gone? Where are your dreams of bobbins and embroidery? Weaving their way into the fabric of your future, stitching a path to your success? Sorry, sewing references are kind of fun. Fun, a word I wouldn’t really use when describing how I feel when I currently think of sewing.
I have written a list. This list comprises of certain tasks I need to complete in order for Cubbly’s to develop as a business. A stock list is even on it. See, this is getting super professional. Ahhh. Ahhh is probably the right descriptive term for the feelings I have about the list. As although currently it only has approximately five items on it there are about two dozen more in my head, and that number continues to grow.
What can you do with an unending list? No matter what you do you will never be able to complete it. As when I start to think of the tasks I currently have written down I know there are so many more to do, so where do I start? And what’s the point in starting if ultimately I can never complete everything? And if I can never complete everything then will Cubbly’s ever be a success? If Cubbly’s is not going to be successful, what’s the point in even starting the first job? Why don’t I just sit here instead and watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend on Netflix? Why didn’t I think of that before?
Welcome to the madness of my mind. Oh wait, yours does this too? And you also watch Crazy Ex-Girlfriend? How exciting! Though maybe you should face your issues rather than watching a show about a woman who is clearly in denial about her own mental health problems and therefore her life begins to unravel…wait.
Well then, time to get serious…for the most part.
I could blame the stresses of day to day life for my lack of motivation: We are currently waiting for a mortgage offer, our dream house depends on it so we are in a state of limbo. I am still working full time on Jen’s Doggie Den and with that closing it’s doors soon, emotions are running high. And I am also struggling with therapy, suffering with panic attacks and flashbacks that write off entire evenings and exhaust me the next day.
Yes, there’s a lot going on. Oh wait and we’re planning a wedding. Yes, we are slightly bonkers, I’m not sure if you’d noticed yet.
That’s the problem with being self employed. Motivation is a huge key to your success. When you’re employed your work is handed to you by your employer, you are given tasks and whilst these are taxing ultimately you are not the one creating the work. Being self employed it all comes down to you. In my case, customers are not going to walk in through my front door. Every day I spend away from my computer, away from promoting my business is another day that I go without being paid.
Yeah, motivation is a necessity. And whilst my motivation has gone on vacation, I am in no way giving up on Cubbly’s, But I do feel overwhelmed with the idea of even engaging in Cubbly business and after a week of thinking I think I know what it boils down to.
I currently run a business that relies on a service and whilst I have improved it over the years, nothing has drastically changed. I have been experimenting with Cubbly’s for over a month and already I am having to learn so much.
Though maybe I should have expected that as I started to learn to sew at the same time as starting a sewing business. Refer back to me being bonkers, okay?
But it’s not just learning a new skill. I am constantly learning about my product design. I have already had to change the dog collars to laminated material as the material I am using seems to scratch easily. One of the dog collars I sold has suffered with a faulty buckle so I am probably going to have to change suppliers and trial another style. These are so far the only two alterations I’m having to make, but every change feels like a failure. And it’s hard to look past that.
Putting your products out there, items you have hand crafted and designed, takes a lot of confidence. You are literally asking people to judge them; do they like them? Do they think they’re too expensive? Is the quality okay? You need to tick a certain number of boxes for someone to purchase your item and if they don’t, they won’t necessarily tell you why. You need to be active in improving everything whilst trying to not take criticism to heart. It’s a nightmare.
Perhaps that’s too strong a word. It’s a learning curve, a massive learning curve. And I detest the feeling of letting people down so when I do see one of my items has scratched my brain goes into overdrive. Given these people are mostly my friends at the moment and know I have just started up, but still it takes a moment for me to calm myself down.
So I guess this week I am suffering with confidence. But reading the title The expert in anything was once the beginner really helps me. Everyone has had to make mistakes to gain success. Anything, including the laptop I am writing on, will have gone through various stages of designs to get to the place it is now. And even then sometimes users give negative feedback. Every company is constantly trying to improve themselves.
As long as I am trying to improve, make my products and shop the best it can be to the best of my abilities…then I guess that’s all I can ask of myself.
I have every faith that Cubbly’s is going to be a success. Though what do I define as success? For now, making a profit. Then lets see where it takes me.